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June 4, 2012

What to Do if You're Raped

The American Academy of Family Physicians

What is rape? 

Rape is any form of sexual activity that you don't agree to, ranging from touching to penetration. Rape is a crime even if you already know the person who attacked you -- if the person is a spouse, another family member, or a friend or someone you work with. It's a crime even if you didn't fight back. It's a crime even if you were drinking, taking drugs, given drugs or unconscious. Anyone can be raped -- men and women, children and elderly people. 

What should I do if I've been raped? 

What it Feels Like to be Drugged

What it Feels Like to be Drugged

What does it feel like to be drugged with a roofie? Are there any early warning signs that you may have been the victim of a date rape drug attack? What do they feel like, what do they do to you and what do you feel like the morning after? We talked to three girls who all fell victim to a date rape drug to find out just what it feels like when you get hit.

In the beginning...

It can be like any other night out with your friends. You’re excited, anticipating all the great things that teens dream about when they go out to a party, club or rave with friends. Fun, dancing, maybe a date with destiny and the love of your life... the night is full of expectation and promise. You get ready with your buds, you dance and sing along with your favorite songs, you act a little crazy and giggle at everything.

What EVERY GUY Must Know About Date Rape

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.

A Date Rape Fact Sheet for Guys

Call it date rape, call it acquaintance rape, or just call it what it is, rape; whatever you call it, it’s a crime and it is committed at a shocking rate of every 2 minutes in North America. While public education about rape has made great strides in the past decades, particularly in the area of victim blaming and shaming, many guys still just don’t seem to get it when it comes date rape. Sure we all know that forcing yourself on a girl is rape but when we picture this we usually imagine a violent attack, sometimes with a weapon, or drugging a girl with a date rape drug, yet there are other ways to coerce or instigate an unwanted sexual encounter that some guys may not even think about. Often non-violent on the surface and sometimes the result of mixed messages, not listening, wishful thinking, and/or diminished capacity on the part of one or both parties, date rape is one of the most misunderstood and controversial of sex crimes.

Victims of Sexual Abuse

Rosenberg and Associate

It is very important that when a victim of sexual abuse comes forth and reports the crime to family, friends, law enforcement, and others, that he or she be listened to in the most sincere fashion possible. Studies have shown that the most credible account of what occurred during a rape or child molestation comes from the victim him/herself. Studies suggest that approximately 3-5% of all rape or child molestation allegations that are reported are false...Therefore, nearly 95% are based on a factual incident. When a victim comes forth and reports the crime, there will almost undoubtedly be two sides to the story: the victim's disclosure and the offender's. It is important to remember that the offender will most likely find people to support his/her story. This is a part of the offender's mode of operation--to have a planned out alibi with people to support it. When the victim is related to the offender, a sharp divide may consume the family system, with some family members supporting the alleged offender's story and others supporting the victim's. This divide not only serves to facilitate familial dysfunction, but also can severely traumatize the victim and create a very strong perception of shame and guilt for reporting.

The Effects of Sexual Abuse

By Kathleen Megan
February 23, 1997 - Hartford Courant
Copyright the Hartford Courant, reprinted with permission

The single most hurtful comment that relatives frequently make to older victims of childhood sexual abuse is: "Gee, it happened such a long time ago, just get over it."

"We all wish it could be that easy, but it's not," said David Clohessy, president of the Chicago-based Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests.

Like scar tissue, the effects of sexual abuse never go away, experts say, continuing to influence victims in various ways, such as by contributing to drug and alcohol abuse, low self-esteem, divorce and distrust.
And, when a priest sexually abuses a child, the effects can be particularly devastating. "The most trusted person imaginable suddenly does something that feels terribly wrong and creepy," said Clohessy, who as an adolescent was sexually abused by a priest. "It's a shocking kind of shattering experience."

Sexual (And Love) Addiction

Sexual addiction is rapidly becoming recognized as a major social problem with similarities more well-known to alcohol and drug addiction or compulsive gambling. We are becoming accustomed to hearing about sexual scandals in our communities, in the workplace, in churches and schools, even in the White House, involving those in which we place our trust. And sometimes we experience shocking sexual discoveries in our own families, involving people we know personally. Many of these situations are better understood if we have some knowledge about sexual addiction.

Some History and Data

As a condition, sexual addiction has been around apparently going back as far as we have recorded history. However, it has only been in the last two or three decades that a clearer understanding of it is being reached and inroads begun into effectively treating it.

Saying No To Sex With A New Boyfriend

From Mike Hardcastle,
Your Guide to Teen Advice.

I'm not a virgin but I don’t want to have sex with my new boyfriend.

Q: I’m not a virgin, I’ve had sex with my last two boyfriends, and my current boyfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex with him but I don’t want to. It’s not that I don’t love him, I do, but I just don’t feel like taking our relationship to that level yet. The more he pressures me the more I don’t want to have sex with him but I can’t give him a really good reason why. How can I make my boyfriend see that my not wanting sex has nothing to do with my feelings for him? Help, I don’t want to lose him!

Rape and Date Rape

What is rape?

Rape occurs when sex is non-consensual (not agreed upon), or a person forces another person to have sex against his or her will. It also can occur when the victim is intoxicated from alcohol or drugs. Rape includes intercourse in the vagina, anus, or mouth. It is a felony offense, which means it is among the most serious crimes a person can commit. Rape is a crime that can happen to men, women, or children.

Many times, the person who commits rape uses violence to force the person to have sex. An attacker can also use fear alone to commit rape. Rape causes both physical and emotional harm to the victim.

What is date rape?

Perspectives on Acquaintance Rape

David G. Curtis, Ph.D., B.C.E.T.S.
Clinical Associate, Long Island Psychological Associates, P.C.

I. What is Acquaintance Rape?

Acquaintance rape, which is also referred to as "date rape" and "hidden rape," has been increasingly recognized as a real and relatively common problem within society. Much of the attention that has been focused on this issue has emerged as part of the growing willingness to acknowledge and address issues associated with domestic violence and the rights of women in general in the past three decades. Although the early and mid 1970's saw the emergence of education and mobilization to combat rape, it was not until the early 1980's that acquaintance rape began to assume a more distinct form in the public consciousness. The scholarly research done by psychologist Mary Koss and her colleagues is widely recognized as the primary impetus for raising awareness to a new level.

Partner Rape


Sexual acts committed without a person's consent and/or against a person's will when the perpetrator is the individual’s current partner (married or not), previous partner, or co-habitator.

3 types of Partner Rape:
  1. Battering rape- The experience of both physical and sexual violence within a relationship. Some may experience physical abuse during the sexual assault. Others may experience sexual assault after a physical assault as an attempt to "make up."
  2. Force-only Rape- Motivated by a perpetrator’s need to demonstrate power and maintain control. Therefore, he/she asserts his/her feelings of entitlement over his/her partner in the form of forced sexual contact.
  3. Obsessive/Sadistic Rape- Sadistic sexual assault involves torture and perverse sexual acts. Such rape is characteristically violent and often leads to physical injury.
Emotional & Physical Reactions:

Myths and Facts about Sexual Violence

Myths and Facts about Sexual Violence

Office of Violence Against Woman

Myth #1: Victims provoke sexual assaults when they dress provocatively or act in a promiscuous manner.

Fact: Rape and sexual assault are crimes of violence and control that stem from a person's determination to exercise power over another. Neither provocative dress nor promiscuous behavior are invitations for unwanted sexual activity. Forcing someone to engage in non-consensual sexual activity is sexual assault, regardless of the way that person dresses or acts. 

Date Rape Drugs

Date rape drugs explained and de-mystified.

In recent years a new kind of rape threat has reared it's ugly head at parties, on campuses and in nightclubs - so called "predator" or "date rape" drugs. What exactly are date rape drugs? Technically speaking, any substance that renders you incapable of saying no or asserting yourself and your needs can be used to commit rape. This can include things like alcohol, marijuana or other street drugs, designer or club drugs like ecstasy, over-the-counter sleeping pills and antihistamines, even cold medications. However, the term "date rape drug" usually applies to the drugs Rohypnol, Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate (GHB) and Ketamine Hydrochloride.